Claustrophobia

 Here are some Poetic Thoughts for you. I like to write and am open to criticism or whatever.

[Sometimes its like I've spent my entire life talking to a wall.]

We push our sincerity out the window and watch as it shatters against the sparkling streets below where the people are holograms and the air is hazy with hairspray and pesticides. I tried but I can't put this behind me when you and the sun are constantly reminding me of what it is to be beyond drywall and plaster.

I wish that I could live without this because our laughter always stains the carpet and I'm done buying Tupperware just so that I can hide my stash of memories in the refrigerator with the dairy products. I dream in black and white because real life should be that easy, but you walk by me like I'm wallpaper- just part of the scenery- and I can't help but decipher the look on your face as something more than what it really means.

The air smothers me as if to announce that you're gone and I cannot breathe with my unyielding lungs because the last cigarette that you inhaled is still smoldering in the corner. The smoke floats like the last of my hope which I have pawned off for more over-the-counter drugs and other peoples' bad dreams, both of which give me comfort while I succumb to the city's asthmatic breathing.

I guess I should have faked this conscience a long time ago because I am not so sure which parts of me are real anymore.You told me that I would make a better door than a window and I apologized and said, "What a shame we can't all be as transparent as you." Ever since then I have been asking myself when I will grow out of this phase of nonexistence.

[You swore that these four walls would keep all our secrets.]

And here is a completely irrelevant picture of me I took a while back when I was bored. [My hair isn't that color anymore] 

radical

My lovely fake piercings and homemade earrings and hipster glasses for my costume.

1. His legs look broken. 2. We're cool.

Hope everyone had a lovely Halloween [:

this is halloween

Happy Halloween! This is my favourite time of the year, by far.

This is my Pikachu pumpkin. He looks a little disfigured, but that's because I kept getting frustrated and began hacking away at it vigorously.

The pumpkin was pretty much all I wanted to show you. I will put up pictures of my costume later. Here's my nerd in his dirty hipster costume:

Before....

And

After.

Bahahahahaha.

robots water the lawn

This is Kitty, my sleeping buddy. I realize the name "Kitty" is not an exceptionally original name for a stuffed kitty. However, I love her dearly and we are probably going be cremated together. [Would they charge extra for that?]

Goood morning!

I'm supposed to be at college being studious and whatnot, but instead I decided to stay at home and sleep and drool on myself and work on a sweater I'm knitting and watch porn. [I'm only kidding about one of these things, by the way. Here's a hint: I don't know how to knit.]

I'm trying to decide what this blog should be all about. My other posts signify that I really have no idea what I'm doing, and I guess that's okay. However, I would love advice or suggestions [ or feel free to tell me I'm an idiot or really anything else you want to get off your chest.]

Here's a rant:

 I reallyreally hate it when you go to a store and the cashier asks you if you would like to donate a dollar to the "Starving Ethiopian Children" or the "Mothers With A Child Addicted To Meth Foundation". And no matter how politely you decline, you can still feel their judgment burning into the middle of your forehead. You just know that your image in their eyes will forever be tainted because of  your callous, uncaring stinginess. And they KNOW you have a dollar to spare because they just gave you your change. [This is generally where you avoid eye contact and maybe smile a close-lipped smile at their shoulder and quickly exit the store, your guilt and shame trailing behind you, along with the cashier's silent profanities directed at your retreating back.]

Okay. Sorry I wasted a minute of your life.  That picture made me laugh though. And that seriously happens to me like, every other time I go somewhere and I am always filled with the same guilt and I just know that God or Buddha or Zeus or whoever is putting me on their List.

Anyway.....please give me suggestions or whatever.

grow up and blow away

Behold! Me and my Nerd [:

My lovely and talented friend Katie took this picture. I realize that this is like, the third time I've posted today, but I don't have a life and the Internet calls to me and forces me to succumb to its hypnotic Blogging powers. I don't even know what I'm talking about right now.

Anyway....Sometimes I like to take a look at my life and fix things as I see fit. Like, sometimes I feel like I should have really strong opinions about certain things like politics and oil spills or whatever. So I decide that I'm going to be a "Democrat" and I'm going to watch the news every single day and I'm going to donate to charities and so on and so forth. This almost never works out because 1. I can't tell the difference between a Democrat and a wombat. 2. The news is awfully boring a large percent of the time. [I have started listening to MPR in the morning though.] And 3. I'm broke as a joke, so if I wanted to donate anything to anyone it would have to be sperm to surrogate mothers [which wouldn't work because I'm lacking a rather important organ that is generally required for donating sperm.]

I also tell myself that I'm not going to ramble and that the thoughts coursing through my brain aren't nearly as important and witty and humorous OUTSIDE of my head as they are inside. But, as you can see, I have a knack for going on and on and on about dumb shit.

Here's a clip of the Justin Bieber song U Smile slowed down 800 percent. It's like, 30 minutes long so if you listen to the whole thing, something may or may not be wrong with you. I realize that this has absolutely nothing to do with anything. This post is just kind of all over the place.

Just to make this post even more random, here's the sexually oblivious rhino:

I want an elk for christmas.

Look at how noble and majestic it is.

Please?

inviting the monster over for tea

I have a lot of books. Boxes and boxes of them that have taken refuge in my closet and under my bed and in any nook and cranny I can find. My bookshelf is practically groaning with the weight of the books currently residing on it, so I had to get creative with my book stashing. Here are some good ones to read [for lack of anything better to write about]:

Holly Black:
Tithe
Ironside

Cassandra Clare:
City of Bones
City of Ashes
City of Glass

John Green:
Paper Towns
Looking for Alaska

Libba Bray:
A Great and Terrible Beauty
Rebel Angels
The Sweet, Far Thing

Rachel Cohn:
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

J.M. Barrie:
Peter Pan

Charlotte Perkins-Gilman:
The Yellow Wallpaper

Anthony Burgess:
A Clockwork Orange

Stephen Chbosky:
The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Sylvia Plath:
The Bell Jar

Diana Wynn Jones:
Howl's Moving Castle

Augusten Burroughs:
Running With Scossors
Dry

Janet Finch:
White Oleander

Peter S. Beagle:
The Last Unicorn

William Goldman:
The Princess Bride

Vladamir Nabakov:
Lolita


William Golding:
Lord of the Flies

Scott F. Fitzgerald:
The Great Gatsby

J.D. Salinger:
Catcher in the Rye

Bret Easton Ellis:
American Psycho

Jack Kerouac:
On the Road

Bram Stoker:
Dracula